IBIZA

I went to Ibiza with my two best friends on the 9th July 2017, for one week. It was an experience I won't forget and I know they won't either.

Arrival
Flying in was no hassle, it was the coach journey to our hotel that turned out to be the bummer. 7am and three young lads are blasting techno rave music, then grime, then more techno at the top of their speakers. It was ridiculous and of course due to the lack on seating on the coach, I ended up squashed up next to them. We eventually arrived at a decent looking hotel and we couldn't complain due to the amazong deal Billie had found; 400GBP per person for an all inclusive week! I usually am not the biggest fan of all inclusive as I feel it tends to mean you feel obliged to stay locked up at the resort but in Ibiza, believe me, we needed to save every last penny we could.

Those Lads
So those lads were a nuisance and for the days coming they continued to be, so much so that they even got their own section on this piece. They would walk around ignorantly blasting music through those silly speakers completely disregarding the fact that majority of the lyrics were swear words and the majority of the people around were families with their 5 year old children. When asked to turn the volume down they would simply yell back, 'but we're in Ibiza!' I'm moaning about these lads but in all honesty, over the course of the week we actually became rather well acquainted with them. Considering they were the ONLY other people our age at the hotel we kind of had little choice in the friendship that developed over the coming week. It had resulted in the guys lending or leaving us their devil speaker (I can't quite remember which one) so we had connected to it and been having our jam session alone whilst relaxing/getting ready etc. When they asked for it back, it wasn't long till they were causing problems down by the poolside again and lucky for us, our balcony overlooked the whole pool area. I decided to reconnect to their speaker whilst they blasted their songs and pissed everyone off, but instead, surprise the unsuspecting dummies with some embarrassing tunes to fuel the party. In the mix was Barbie Girl, Crazy Frog, Twinkle Twinkle and so on... As childish as it may seem it was absolutely hilarious and whilst Billie, Olivia and I hid behind our balcony laughing our heads off switching from song to song they looked at each other all wide-eyed and confused trying to gage an understanding of WTF was going on. Of course, they eventually figured it out it was us and did not find it as hilarious as we did, but we were still invited for pre-drinks later on.

The Smoke Up
I distinctly remember the night we decided to go smoke up with these lads from the hotel. That's because I felt like I was dying... They bought some green off a random 'Looki Looki Man' on the side of the road and I had a feeling it could be bad news. Not too long after rolling, smoking and panicking I was sat in a chair on the lads balcony with my eyes rolled back and my mind wilding out. I caught my breath a moment later to find everyone circled around me, staring with fear in their eyes.  The guys were all high as anything and lucky Billie and Olivia didn't know how to smoke properly- their innocence meant they didn't get high and could look after me. I remember laying down in Olivia's arms whilst she stroked my skin gently calming me down. I was demanding I listened to soft Jazz music and had the lights on so I could see everything going on around me. Billie was also pandering to my demands of cold water and cuddles. I eventually calmed down and we walked back to our apartment, just above theirs. That night I slept and woke up the next day feeling fine again, just a little off key- I couldn't thank my lovely best friends enough and I knew that night had been a testament to our friendship.

The Clubs
The clubs in Ibiza, wow. Where do I begin? There are completely out of this world. Well in comparison to anything I've ever been to. The club strip itself is a little crappy and it's only until you venture to Playa d'en Bossa and the surrounding areas. That is where you will lose your mind, quite literally. Ibizan clubs are called super clubs for a reason. They are huge- say 4x the size of a fairly large club in the UK and the sound systems are immense. Most of the big clubs in Ibiza have insane decor, matched seamlessly with the trippy strobe lighting and the incredible dancers- as I type this I can't help but get taken back to our time spent at HI, the newest superclub on the scene (previously Space) that stole my heart and not just because of the DJ responsible for spinning tracks while I took a piss. Yes, that's right, they have DJs actually in the toilets. All I can say is the superclubs in Ibiza are an experience that can only be lived- there is truly no point describing it in great detail because they are a wonderland of ecstasy, each fantastic in their own way. And no, you don't need to be off your nut on d r u g s to have the time of your life (no pills entered my mouth) but it is recommended ;). We didn't visit every club on the island because well, that shit is expensive AF but I would love to go back (with my entire student loan lol) and go everywhere we didn't. Oh and be prepared for a shock 3 single shots of anything WILL cost you 30EUR on average (prewarning as a favour because I could of done with one before I offered to get a round).
BTW- Out of the well-known places we visited, Ocean Beach actually turned out to be the cheaper of the lot (don't get me wrong, it still was not 'cheap' per say), possibly because it was a beach club? Who knows. All I'm saying is give it a chance, it is not as pretentious as it seems.

The Beach
So we did manage to fit in some much needed beach time whilst in Ibiza, however, the beach we visited (which was a short walk from our hotel) was not one of the prettiest on the island. It was busy with tourists and the water was not as clear as other beaches on the island. Nevertheless, we made a point to visit a few times as what's a holiday to the Balearic Islands without a dip in the sea? We decided to take part in some water sports which I'm sure everyone will agree is always a load of fun, especially when the guys working there are hot Spaniards with sunkissed skin and a cheeky sense of humour. The three of us hopped onto the float thing that drags you around while attached to a speedboat and went for the ride of our lives. Till this day I've never been dragged (yes dragged) around the Mediterranean, or any sea for that matter at such a speed. We were practically flying, with our fists tightly clenched to the tiny handles that were supposed to keep us onboard. After all three of us had a turn at being thrown completely off the float we headed back at full speed. I couldn't help but notice the cute guy with the dark sun-drenched skin and friendly smile. He was working alongside the others and I figured I had a fair chance. I started asking questions about what it's like to work in Ibiza as I had loved my time on the island. They, of course, suggested as I was English I should use my language skills to be a club or bar promoter but instead I was curious to the requirements necessary to actually help out at the watersports stand. More specifically THEIR watersports stand. Haha. I got my phone out and up came google translate in an attempt to translate to the cute guy that I wanted his number. Instead, I chickened out last minute and typed in some shitty question about work. He responded as best he could and we said our thank yous and left. For the remainder of the day I spent my time laying on a somewhat sharp rock, in plain sight of the stand. Whilst trying to look like a mermaid I struck my best sexy-sunbather-who-is-not-bothered-if-you're-watching pose and allowed my skin to soak up the D. Vitamin D. The good news: He completely took notice of me (I think). He was glancing my way every 5-10 minutes, diving in the water, showing off all whilst I lay there being a beached whale. Eventually, after around 2 hours (I knowww) Billie and Olivia were ready to head back to the hotel. Certain that he was going to swim over after his shift and ask for my number, I stayed put. FIVE minutes PLEASE I mouthed over. Of course I meant at least fifteen. Sadly, he did not swim over, nor did he even attempt to hand signal me his digits but I did manage to get a goodbye wave as I clambered down the rocks and back to the sand section. We headed back but my dreams were not shattered. The next day came round quickly and whilst Olivia and Billie headed to do some shopping, I decided to spend my final chance visiting my boo. Except this time was all very different. He was there again, working hard as usual and I found a small spot- on the sand this time- in plain sight. He definitely noticed me in my bright pink bikini and we had a... a moment. Not long before the second had passed a prettyish Spanish woman came over, in her early thirties and dressed in a massage uniform. She worked at the beach bar that also happened to have a massage table (random) so I assumed she was going to offer me a massage. Boy do I wish that was what came out her mouth but nope, her business with me was just beginning. She opened up the conversation with 'chit chat' about her son. He was a beautiful little boy, around 4 or 5 years old, running and splashing in the shallow waters of the sea. She quickly moved on to showing me pictures of her cutie pie son and though he was sweet, I couldn't help but think, 'surely you have work to be getting on with because I know I do.' She must have read my mind as less than a minute later she mentioned her boyfriend. Yes, boyyyyyfriend. Now I'm sure you can guess where this story is heading so I will make it short and sweet. Turns out that particular beach was the place in which her whole 'family' spent the day, every day. While her son played, she worked and so did her boyfriend... the watersports guy. She flicked through family photo after family photo of the three of them at the mall, or the three of them eating ice cream or a whole bunch of kids climbing all over him. Him. My potential bae. May I mention I had no idea (obviously) that he had a girlfriend let alone a kid (joke, the kid was not his but still) and may I also mention he was definitely at least 6/7 years younger than her. Hey, I am not one to judge however he was a potential bae! I knew if I really did want to do some homewrecking and be selfish I could have tried to work my magic but I figured it's really not me. Plus, God punishes those who sin and so does anxiety so there you go. I patiently (and politely) sat through her boycotting of my (not so) sinister plan to steal her sexy boyfriend and the conversation ended with an exchange in Facebooks. Brilliant. I knew it was time to throw in the towel. Ibiza had done me good. Good and proper. And our flight was awaiting us the next day.

Peace & Love,
Willow