I'm Moving to Vienna!

It was around two weeks ago that I found out in February 2018 I will be enrolling at the University of Vienna for their 2018 summer semester as a student of the Sociology Department!

CRAAAAZYYYY, I know!

Coming from an average working class family it is amazing that opportunities like this now exist for people like me and I am honoured to have been nominated and selected by Goldsmiths, University of London and the University of Vienna. 
The semester begins on the 1st March 2018 which as of now seems miles away, but I know once Christmas has passed it will most definitely fly by. The summer semester lasts 5 months in total as it finishes on the 30th June 2018, although I will be heading down there possibly 2 weeks to a month before hand, just to get my baring of the city.
I will be studying within the Sociology Department and all my grades will be worked out on an average of how well I perform throughout the term, which means no slacking off for me- I must stay focused (something I can struggle with). Once I am back in London for summer holidays, the transcript of all my grades will be sent back over and Goldsmiths will then do the conversion and update my file ready for my third and final year...

Things I'm nervous about:

• Despite learning German from Year 7 till Year 10, I can just about introduce myself. It is very funny actually, how life works. My classmates and I all used to complain about learning German as it was difficult and our teacher was Italian herself- not very convincing (I know we shouldn't have judged!) and now here I am struggling to find an affordable intensive German language course that will make me a native within 3 months hahaha!!!
• I mean all the worrying aspects are going to relate back to the language barrier however I'll break a few of them down. Making friends... This is worrying and although I don't find it exactly difficult to make friends, even a confident, outgoing person can feel nervous about this. I mean I could accidentally end up hanging with the wrong crowd and end up trapped in a scary situation not speaking German and not being able to escape!!! Or what if I just end up alone and lost... wandering the streets every Saturday night looking for a pal?! :(
• My course... yes, it will be taught in English (Thank Goodness as I did spend about 4 days shitting myself at the fact that I may have to do half my course in another language). Rest assured that I won't have this little stress but I have heard this particular university system (from a native Austrian) is quite rigorous and takes no prisoners! Please Goldsmiths... please have me ready for what I am about to get myself into. Even just reading the course catalogue made me realise I need to start reading like 4000 words per minute to even have a semi chance at getting a decent grade. Shize.
• Getting around... I know this will eventually come to me and it won't take too long for the penny to drop but seriously. Finding my way around Vienna will not be a walk in the park by any means. It is just one of those things I have to take in my stride.
• I know I have already mentioned my course but I have to admit the prospect of FAILING is a very big risk. It took a while for me to adjust to Goldsmiths and now I'm making myself do it all overs again in Austria?! If I do not pass the summer semester I will have to retake the whole year!!!
• My skin colour... This has been an underlining worry about the complete experience as I have heard many rumours that it can be slightly racist in Austria. Of course these are just rumours and there is only one wa to find out. It is a capital city and not a little village in the middle of the countryside so that definitely does help, however it doesn't remove the worry. There was a point when Vinny was considering moving over there with me for a few months to see what he thinks of it, but he too (as a black male of African decent) was warned that he 'won't stand a chance'. I understand people only say things like this out of concern and of course to raise caution but I've realised that if you listen to everything everyone says you will never leave your house! Many people have also old me about how I will absolutely love it and have a blast- without a mention of my brown skin! I will be regularly writing on here to keep my readers in the know about my experience as a mixed race 20 year old living in Vienna, Austria.

Things I'm excited about:

• The fact that when I get back I will speak a decent (I hope) level of German!! I've been trying to get myself to learn a second language for a very long time now but it is much easier said than done. Now I will be knees deep in the German language, yay meeeee!
• My accommodation... although it hasn't been sorted yet, I am so so excited at the prospect of having as cool little room/ apartment in a quaint capital city. I'll do it up and make it totally me as well as make sure I'm living in a great location near lots of amenities, so when people want to come visit me... I will be a stone throw away from some exciting things to do and see!
• Travelling (of course) around the whole of Austria! This is an area of the study abroad scheme that excites me the most. I will get to travel all over the country and to neighboring counties such as Italy, Switzerland, Hungry and more of course. I really also want to venture to Salzburg, Austria where the Sound of Music was filmed.... how incredible!
• Making friends... although this is a worry, it also does make me so excited at the prospect of  possibly building relationships with people that could last a lifetime! The sailing trip I ventured on was only for 2 weeks and yet I came back to two incredible friends... Giullianna and Lettie. If the same can happen over a 6 month period I will be more than overjoyed as real friends are far and few between ;).
• I am excited to learrrrrnnnnnn all about Sociology from a completely different perspective to what is taught at Goldsmiths. Although Goldsmiths is good at being very open and understanding to the fact that there are many different and contrasting interpretations of theories and theorists it will be great to see if thousands of miles away people think the same, similar or worlds apart!
• Experiencing Austrian culture including the food, attractions, music, fashion, attitude in general and nightlife woooo! I'm almost certain I will be seen as an alien, being British and all haha.
• My family and friends coming to visit me and seeing how well I'll hopefully be doing. I will get to show them around and open their worlds a little more!
• Returning home and feeling that sense of achievement. It sounds overly cringe I know but it is true. If I do this and return to tell the tale- still smiling- I will have achieved so much more than I could have ever hoped for. Hopefully making my family, friends and mumma (guardian angel) super proud of me!

I will be keeping the site updated with what happens next in my incredulous venture so stick around and check back every now and then. Oh and wish me luck in these next few hectic months of preparation!

https://www-tc.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/files/2016/09/vienna-summer16-promo-mez.jpg

Peace&Love,

Willow

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WHY I CUT MY HAIR OFF

My hair is now short. About 3 hours ago, maybe 4... it was bobbing around my shoulders looking all cute and sweet. Why did I cut it off?

I've been taught through the media, through my parents,through my friends and just generally my overall interactions that when you are a woman, long hair is best suited. Why I don't really know. Apparently it makes you look feminine and lush and stuff, who knows. I've never really had a strong attachment to my hair but I was often worried about what people thought of me. I would pretend I didn't care about my image and sometimes I really wouldn't care -but the majority of the time I would. I hate that! I hate knowing that I will do something or not do something because of someone else who doesn't have a clue about me.

I recently turned 20 and left my underpaid, overworked job in South East London. I had moved back in with my Dad over summer and the travelling from Essex to SE London was too much headache, plus I was spending a fortune on trains. I also received a letter telling me about an old fine I had never previously received, asking me to pay a ridiculous sum of money. I had been planning to travel to Sri Lanka to volunteer till I started back at uni in October but after receiving that (it was a very large amount)... I cancelled everything.

I then thought about how I've worked on and off since I was 15 and all it took was one year of shitty university- something we apparently all should do, to get me in even more debt than I have earned in my lifetime. I sadly am not born into wealth and I'm tired of working hard and not getting a lot in return. We shouldn't be working to pay our bills then find ourselves short at the end, we should be working to enjoy a life we want to live, that is why I save up my scraps and use it where I can to see the world! So how does this link to my hair?

Well I typed in on google, 'why do young girls cut all their hair off?'
This is what came up:

Practically all the links I found explained how the chopping of the hair from long to drastically short usually symbolises the need for control or change. One may feel as though she has lost control over her life, usually after an uncertain period that caused discomfort or maybe even trauma. The chop therefore is a way of showing herself, more than anyone that she is in control. It could also be a lot to do with just marking a new chapter. It may not always be after trauma or uncertainty but rather to feel refreshed and therefore renewed...

I cut all my hair off for both of these reasons now that I reflect upon it. I also cut my hair as throughout my teen years, my hair was what I was known for and I often felt people failed to see just me. I would straighten my hair and would get comments like, 'you look much better with your hair curly and big', meanwhile I'm thinking... Did I Even Ask You?! Cutting my hair was also a way of being defiant to what society has taught me, defines me as a woman. I was worried before that people would treat me differently, stupid I know although it genuinely did cross my mind as I feel it does happen. Women always have to legitimise their power and right as a woman and now I have a 'mans' hair surely this illegitimises me. I'm trying too hard to be masculine when all I really want is to be as feminine as can be while doing what I want! Did any of that make sense? Humph...

Well what all this boils down to is try and do you... it is easier said than done. We have twitter hype gals telling us do you boo boo and too right! But it ain't always that easy, especially when 'you' is always changing and growing due to your environment and experiences that are ever-evolving. I wake up a different person each day and not because I have a new spot or a new nail varnish colour, but because of who I met the day before and what I read at the library and maybe even the new country I hope I may have travelled to! Everything plays a part in who you are, so I don't blame you if you become a psycho killer by age 12 as more often than not, it is your environment that has caused it. 

OK I have gone waaaaay off track. C'mon. All I done was give myself a hair cut... riiiiiight?

Peace&Love
Willow

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